No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
