even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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