Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
