Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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