He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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