I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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