Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
