Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
