"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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