and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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