I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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