Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Two words: blizzard sex
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
