If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
