I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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