i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
