singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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