i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
