Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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