If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
