when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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