if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize