Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize