Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
