i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
