Im at strip club and am horny
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
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the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
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After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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