Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
