i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
