Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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