i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
