Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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