Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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