in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize