Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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