he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
