it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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