I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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