Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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