Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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