Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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