watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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