Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
