it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I party with great urgency now.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
