She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
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The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
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he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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