How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't turn off my feet"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
