i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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