Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
