Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
