were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
