these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
