lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
