I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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