just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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