What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize