Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
