Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
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