I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
