i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
