I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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