i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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