so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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