I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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