Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
